It's because I forgot He, who created me
how is it that I neglect
yet He saves me even after this moment I die
I let her take over and put my morals aside.
I looked into his eyes, "fiery" he cried,
resembling that which.. could be our destination.
Because of her he'd bother me each time,
he told me my undivided attention would keep him alive
does he not care that I have already died?
Who is there to love?
When between us, she would intercede
she'd get into my mind
Creating moments of lust.
Ummatul Muslimeen,
what would they say?
On that day with him who taught us the way.
He (My Lord) won't even look at me, oh the disgust!
The deen I demeaned,
a representation so it seemed.
A hijab I wore but beneath it I was unclean,
I looked ugly it didn't sit right
It never did,
with my clothes so tight and my tongue so foul.
That's when it loosened,
yet again she intervened
I was with him once more.
Months later a done deed
on these white sheets,
a sin I conceived
no mother nor man to hold my hand.
until this day, I'm alone
watching the sin
as he spreads his
And she's not here for reassurance
neither is he,
they loved each other,
just used me to plant a seed.
The seed, confused, angry, growing into a fragile tree.
With his roots embedded in ungodliness
he curses me, "because of you no daughter of the righteous will look at me!"
Alone again, so dirty, so cheap
awaiting for those white faces
to send the letter enclosed with "a question for the dead"
If only I had looked away, that day
Or even lowered my gaze.
No son would I have left behind,
With no lesson or guide.
I'm 6 feet beneath the soil.
Too late for regrets
my heart tightens,
I can't breathe,
my soul torn away.
"If only I could repent one more day!"
waiting for the day of turmoil..
I wake up.
It's just a dream,
tears run down my cheeks.
Trembling as I wash from head to feet.
I pray and return to my bed,
Allah on my mind, dhikr in my chest
I could have died but,
"It's.. just a test".
He Has given me another chance.
I swear to remain chaste and slay the devil that wishes to lead me astray.
Next time I'm possessed with Satan's eyes.
I'll remember to lower my gaze
or I'm destined with her in eternal flames.
The Prophet (saw) said: "And the eyes commit zina (adultery). Their zina is gazing."
He (saw) also once said to his companion Ali: "Ali! Do not look once after another, for the first look is for you (since it happens accidentally) while the second is against you."
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest." (An-Nur: 30-31)
This is just something that came to mind; I am not a poet, neither am I trying to be. However, I think literature is a very powerful tool and so I used it to express my stance on something that is unfortunately becoming a norm within our communities.
May Allah protect us all and as women, help us take the women of Jannah as examples, as they were promised Paradise (i.e, the companions of the Prophet (saw) and others mentioned in the Qur'an).
No comments:
Post a Comment